I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my being single is dangerous.
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this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
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There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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