woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
how does that bad decision feel?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
