You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We are two peas in an std pod
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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