sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
