is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
