So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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