I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
