Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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