so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
