i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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