the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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