the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
