Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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