hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
