Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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