Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
