oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
