would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
