woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You are the jesus of drinking
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
