I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
