Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
