Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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