Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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