i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize