I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I am available for nakedness
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
