you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
