Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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