My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
