"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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