I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
