Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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