...so i touched it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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