I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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