Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
