I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize