Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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