An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
