there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
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he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
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Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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