just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
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Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
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I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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