she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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