Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
