I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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