you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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