Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
