the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
