I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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