Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
there is glitter all over my balls
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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