THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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