Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
