you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Shame - the story of my life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
