Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
