Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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