So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
