I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
