Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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