I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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