some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
